


Shouldn't have

by Mukunee



Category: Everything Sucks (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, One-Sided Attraction, its just two gays being sad, not sure what to tag this tbh, these poor gays, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 17:45:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14383794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mukunee/pseuds/Mukunee
Summary: Kate faces a lot of 'should not's' tonight.Emaline faces one.





	Shouldn't have

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! this kinda started out as a vent and kinda finished as one? i say kinda because i don't know really. i was originally planning on having this end differently but by the end it seemed like more of a cop out than anything tbh  
> anyways! i hope you enjoy! cheers!

It’s three in the morning. 

It’s three in the morning, Kate keeps telling herself. She shouldn’t be awake, let alone answering the door to the first knock she hears. But she was awake, and she did open that door, and to be honest, she didn’t regret it.

There was Emaline Addario, standing on her welcome mat, misty-eyed and looking more pathetic than she ever had. She should slam the door in her face. That would be sweet, wouldn’t it? After all those insults she hurled at her, all those slurs she wrote on her locker, all those nasty tricks she pulled on her- that would be one hell of a revenge to get.

But she doesn’t. Kate Messner lets her in. She offers to make her a cup of coffee, or hot chocolate, or whatever Emaline wanted. She declines, and moves to sit on her couch wordlessly.

Kate should have been angry. She should have cussed and hollered and yelled at Emaline for showing up unannounced like this, for knowing that Kate would let her in, for outright abusing her generosity. But, yet again, she doesn’t. Instead, she sits and hands her a mug of hot chocolate, and though Emaline pushes it away at first, she eventually accepts it. Kate then spends the next ten minutes listening to Emaline talk about her troubles, about Oliver, and how he left earlier that morning without so much as a goodbye.

Kate would never say it out loud, especially not now, but she could have seen something like this coming a mile away. Emaline had been blinded by love and this is just the price she has to pay. But Kate isn’t much better, so she casts the thought aside and continues to listen to her.

When Emaline is done pouring her heart out, she gets up to leave. Kate should have let her go. It would have been so easy. Emaline was satisfied, seemingly feeling at least a bit better, and Kate could have returned to her peaceful, sleepless rest at last. But she doesn’t. Instead, she grabs her hand and holds it tight, spewing comforting word after comforting word.

“You can stay the night, if you want.” Kate shouldn’t have made that offer. “As long as your parents won’t worry about you not coming home tonight.”

“My parents aren’t home.” Emaline admits, shaking free of Kate’s grasp. “They won’t be for a few days. So it won’t be a problem.”

Neither girl speak for quite some time. They just sit and stare, sometimes at each other, but usually just at nothing in particular. Kate wonders what Emaline means by that. Obviously, there was the literal explanation, but Kate can’t help but wonder why they won’t be home. Business? Partying? Some odd mix of the two? She makes a mental note to pry for answers one day, but of course, today will not be that day.

“We can, uh,” Kate begins, nervously scratching at her arm as she speaks. “We can go up to my room if you want.”

Emaline nods, and begins to ascend the stairs without speaking a word. Kate follows after her. Somehow, Emaline knows exactly what room to go into. Emaline is, at first, surprised by Kate’s room. She’s not sure what surprised her, and if you asked her, she certainly couldn’t tell you why any of it surprised her- it just did. A lot of things about Kate surprised Emaline, actually. Kate was so strong, and yet so gentle. She was the ‘good’ girl of the school, being the principal’s daughter and all, and yet she had gotten a nose piercing before her? It was all surprising. Kate was surprising.

However, in this current moment, the only surprise that crosses Emaline’s mind is that Kate hasn’t kicked her out of her house yet. Emaline had driven to her house on pure impulse. If she hadn’t been a crying mess, there was no way in hell she would have came here. She wasn’t expecting to get far, maybe just to talk to Kate for a few minutes and then leave, and yet here she was, now standing in the middle of Kate Messner’s bedroom.

“There are some spare pj’s in the drawer over there. I don’t know if they’ll fit you, but they’re probably better to sleep in than what you’re wearing.”

Emaline digs through the drawer, picks out a matching set at random, and heads off to the bathroom to change. In this time, Kate decides to think of her next move. She could dig out the blow-up mattress for Emaline to sleep on, but she has no idea where her dad keeps that stupid thing, and he’s not even home to ask. 

_ Stay focused, Messner _ . Sighing, she tries to think of more options. There’s really only one: let Emaline sleep in her bed with her. Of course, Kate herself has no problems with this plan. As angry as Emaline makes her, as horrible and cruel as she is to her, Kate longs for nothing than to be close to her. Every extra second Kate stood in her presence was one more beat her heart skipped every time she saw her.

But Emaline? Emaline probably wants the exact opposite. And Kate is keenly aware of this. That’s why she’s worried about offering to share a bed with her. Would she be grossed out? Would she carry this story into school with her tomorrow, ranting and raving about that ‘lesbo Kate Messner’ who ‘practically forced her to sleep with her’? 

She didn’t have time to think about any of the consequences, though, as Emaline’s already walking out of the bathroom door and oh  _ fuck _ why does she look so pretty in Kate’s pajamas? Thinking fast, she decides to let Emaline decide her fate for herself, “If you want, I can sleep on the floor and you can have the bed. Or I can try and find our blow-up, or-”

“I’ll just sleep with you.”

Emaline’s answer is short, but if suffices to calm Kate’s nerves. She scoots over to give Emaline just enough room for Emaline to crawl under the covers next to her. Kate wants to say something, but she’s too afraid she’ll fuck it up, so she just stays quiet. She’s too flustered to speak properly. Emaline is just so close to her, and her legs are brushing against hers, and oh  _ god _ , now she can feel that her entire body is shaking. 

“Why did you let me stay?”

She rolls over onto her side, staring Kate right in the eyes. “I’m such a shitty person. I’m sure your life is ten times harder than mine, and I’m probably one of the reasons why. But you let me come over here this late, made me a drink, gave me your clothes, and let me sleep in your bed.”

Kate doesn’t know what to say for a moment. “Well,” As always, she starts her sentence before she knows how to end it. “I don’t know. It just seemed like the right thing to do.” Based off Emaline’s expression, she doesn’t believe her. “Yeah, my life sucks because of you. I’m the laughingstock of the school, and all you do is add fire to the flames, or just outright light the thing on fire. So to speak.”

Kate’s tone isn’t angry. It’s not pleasant, but it’s not angry. “But there has to be a reason for it, you know? You started teasing me long before we started actually speaking. I mean, for you to go out of your way to make a complete stranger’s life a living hell, your life must suck just as much as mine.”

Emaline should have been angry, but she knows Kate is right. She never could puzzle out the exact reason she went after Kate as aggressively as she had. Now that Kate put it into words, however, it all seemed to make sense. Still, she doesn’t say anything in response. She just stares at Kate. And Kate stares back for a while, and for a moment, Emaline thinks she notices Kate’s face nudge a bit closer to hers-

And then she rolls over. Kate doesn’t say anything, but Emaline is sharply aware of what that simple act implies. Mainly, it implies three things: That Kate is done with the conversation, that she’s upset, and that Emaline seriously overstepped her boundaries tonight.

Emaline doesn’t know when Kate falls asleep, but she doesn’t care at this point. At least, she tries not to. She doesn’t fall asleep at all. Her brain is working overtime just trying to process everything that happened tonight. Thought after thought enters her mind, and leaves just as fast, only to be replaced by an entirely new one. She starts to wonder if Kate will ever forgive her. She tries to figure out why Kate never forgiving her would be such a horrible thing. That causes her to ask herself why her heart was beating so fast the entire night. And that, that leads to a revelation.

She was in love with Kate Messner. And after all the shit she’s done to her, she may never forgive her enough to even accept her as a friend. She tries to close her eyes and force herself to sleep after that, but of course, it doesn’t work.

Emaline shouldn’t be awake right now. She should be sleeping in her own bed, and she especially shouldn’t have knocked on Kate’s door tonight. But she was awake, and she did knock on that door, and to be honest, she regretted it more than anything.


End file.
